The “Positive Thinking” Mistake

Whether you’re brand new to this industry or a seasoned pro, there’s no denying the power of positive thinking.

Positive thinking is one of the big pillars of coaching and it’s something that not only helps us realize our dreams, but it makes our journey that much more enjoyable.

So let’s look a little closer at what positive thinking is, and how to properly implement it into your life so that you actually get all the things you want.

Positive Thinking Isn’t the Whole Story

When it comes to positive thinking, instead of thinking ‘I’m a failure’, we’re told to think, ‘I’m a winner’

Instead of thinking, ‘I look terrible’, we should think, ‘I'm beautiful’

And it totally makes sense!

What we believe determines how we feel and what actions we take. If we believe that we can grow a successful coaching business, look fit, or find true love it’s much more likely to happen than if we believe that we can’t do it. 

But here’s the problem…

Positive thinking alone won’t work unless any negative thoughts you have are addressed, and that’s because those thoughts have a lot of power and are still in there undermining your success and holding you back.

You see, there’s no doubt that positive thinking helps you achieve your most important goals, but if deep down a part of you believes in the negative thoughts, and you just keep trying to flood your mind with positive thinking without ever addressing the negative – then you’re actually self-sabotaging.

What to Do Instead…

Instead of trying to deny your negative thoughts, try embracing them for a while. 

Really sit and stew in that negativity for a while. Be with it. See what it’s really all about. 

Ask yourself, ‘where did this old thought pattern come from?’ and ‘what am I really afraid of?’

In life, everything we fear is really a fear of a feeling… EVERYTHING.

If we can ‘be with’ our feelings, we aren’t ruled by them anymore, and we won’t run from them. 

The locked up negative thoughts and emotions can finally run their course and leave on their own when they are finished with us.

The more you can just be, the less negativity will creep into your mind to begin with because there will be less and less of it all the time!

Easier Said Than Done

This is a simple process, but it’s not an easy one. 

Basically, I’m asking you to avoid running away from your fears and really face up to what's happening inside of you. 

Running comes in many forms: TV, food, alcohol, sex, work, etc. If you overindulge in any of these, you may be running from something.

Being with whatever is in your head and in your body means that you stay present in the moment no matter how uncomfortable it gets.

And this is where the help of a coach makes a huge difference. 

Coaches help people face up to what they're most afraid of and to deal with it in some way. 

But surprisingly, that’s where many coaches fail their clients. They simply aren’t willing to take their clients into deep, dark places.

So as you coach your clients, if you want to keep your clients longer and have lasting results with them, go deeper!

All that said, I still recommend that you do keep thinking positively. It does work. Just as long as you don’t try to sweep all the ‘negative’ stuff under the rug.

So I recommend you set aside some time to think about what you're trying to tuck away. 

Really sit with it and begin letting it run its course. It may take more than one session, but the results over time will dramatically improve your positive thinking. And this is really where the power of positive thinking comes in!

Are you ready to get more powerful results from your positive thinking?

Tell me what you think in the comments below.

Big Hugs and Love,


10 Responses

  1. I completely agree with what you have written.
    Thanks for the sharing.

    This is only my second time responding to something you have written.
    I am not in the coaching business but I enjoy reading and hearing of some of your ideas.
    It has been a pleasure hearing from you over the years!

  2. This is spot on Christian. The decision to admit & confront our fears will invariably avail us the opportunity to scrutinize the reasons behind our fears and subsequently come to the realization that after all, our fears are a part of us. The earlier we admit them, the faster we could work to alleviate them.

  3. This is essential, and I get why many people shoot against the pure positive thinking idea without clearing the source of the negative stuff. It just doesn't work if the negative conditioning is deep and strong.
    I was very skeptical about your processes called instant miracle and peace process, very skeptical! But I was open and tried them out! They worked, and they still work for me, and they even make sense on an intellectual level for me!
    Everything I think as a human being is a creation, reality is subjective! Every belief is created, my identity is constructed, the world I think I live in an imagination! Every human has a personal reality.
    If I get conscious about a negative feeling and if I am really present with it, I kill the connection thought-creates-feeling step by step. This is how I break the hidden chain to free myself from my conditioned negative thinking patterns. And finally I can believe my positive thinking, because I subconsciously realize it is again a creation, but a much better, constructive and healthy one 😉
    Thanks for your article, Christian!

  4. Very insightful. Totally agree that we need to come into term with our old self before embarking on the journey to transform into our new self. Acknowledge,embrace,accept and then transform.

  5. I am not an professional coach but I do counsel friends n family children and few adults as well .Good to read ur mail has same thing I believe. To be more specific I always say what ever happen with us is always for better so may be it’s bad or good for that moment it’s good for future and should believe in almighty

  6. Had a really beautiful coaching session yesterday and for a moment doubted if I could do the peace process as there was so much pain. Trusted my intuition and very gently took the client through the process with loving care. Wow what a wonderful session that was. The client went through the before really painful experience after the peace process and was able to look forward to the place she was going to instead of crying the entire journey. Thank you Christian for teaching these beautiful techniques so we can support others to move towards a joyful life 💖

  7. This is actually very good advice. It's great benefit addressing that negative. There is no getting rid of it, if not addressed.

  8. “If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.”
    — Sydney Banks

  9. Thanks for putting this out there so clearly Christian. This principle is at the heart of everything I coach… it's impossible to be all of it without feeling all of it… to paraphrase Rumi, we are not a wave in the ocean, we are the entire ocean in a wave… that means both the light and the shadow, the masculine and the feminine, the yin and the yang.

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